Sunday, November 29, 2009

Belated Holidays, Birthdays, and Updates

Edit: This was supposed to have been sent last night but two little girls wanted to snuggle and I fell asleep. Oops!

I have this terrible annoying habit when it comes to estimating time and following through with announced updates, which, believe me, annoys myself as much as I'm 99% sure it annoys all of you. Camera issues were one thing, but along with that came mental shut-down days where all I wanted to do was be with my kids....when I should have been searching for my battery charger. I know...totally unprofessional. Please forgive my lack of business savviness and I'm so hoping no one waited around on me to start the listings and if any of those aforementioned people are reading this right now, I'm so, so very sorry :( I feel awful. Tomorrow, no excuses, no mental shut-downs, there will be listings, I promise! Really, I swear!

Another bad habit of mine...updating my blog. Allow me to reminisce...My big-little sister (a year older but she can shop the kids department for clothes) choreographed an awesome double-birthday with a Halloween theme for our kids on Oct. 31! Each of us has a child with a September birthday but we couldn't have birthday parties for different reasons so my perfectionistic, anal-retentive sis pulled the ever present Martha Stewart from within her (see above pic) and the result was what Zoe called, "the best birthday ever" (awww). Wait, isn't every occasion involving presents a "best day ever" for kids? No, but Zoe and Jaida still talk about it and I caught Zoe running up and hugging my sister for no reason other than it being her way of showing her appreciation for an awesome birthday party!

Hilarious outdoor games

Indoor games (that also included a frantic game of hot potato...well, hot pumpkin).

The birthday boy and girl!

They all danced the Monster Mash (Jaida did The Robot).

We ate cupcakes and all the kids went home with kid-swag bags full of fun toys and candy. Everyone got a prize no matter who won a game. My sister thought of everything....I still don't want to ask her how much she and her husband spent on this party. All the gifts came from my sis and my parents because mommy is a little financially strained at the moment. I thank God for these people in my life because we would honestly be homeless without them!

*nervous laughter*

That night my girls trick-or-treated for an hour dressed as themselves.

My princesses :)

Monday, November 2, 2009

Down came the rain

Wow, I can't believe it's been so long since my last post! It's been a very difficult few months for my family. Some of you may already know I'm going through an (eek) divorce. I do not advocate divorce at all...quite the opposite, but sometimes you try to fix, deal, forgive...and a year goes by and then a few months more. One day there comes a point that you just know in your heart things will never be as they were. I knew from watching my own parents' marriage that staying in an unhappy marriage "for the kids" is one of the worst things you could do for your kids! My decision was a looong time coming and I didn't give up without a fight, but in the end I had to do what was best for all of us.
Some of you may also know that I have suffered for nine years with Panic Disorder/Agoraphobia and after many years (and many meds) I finally found a medication/psychiatrist combo that made me feel 80% better....but I still panicked at the steering wheel. I still couldn't be alone. My eyes still scanned the room for the phone/exits. Anxiety makes you feel dependant on people closest to you and sometimes the one closest to you isn't exactly someone you feel you can depend on...if that makes any sense. I felt very unhappy in my marriage but I was also terrified of being "out there" in the world; I have known for a long time that it was my own fears that kept me in the miserable position I was in. In the past, huge life changes happened to me, not because of me andhere I was, forcing this huge change! 
We have been doing a lot of this lately :)
And I'm not going to lie, it was scary but I pushed through those fears. I had a five year old that needed to be enrolled in k-5 in two weeks so I literally forced myself to do things I hadn't done in years. It was a crash course in exposure therapy but it was exactly what I needed to get over a huge peak with this panic that's a good thing!

"Silly Sock" Day at school
All that matters to me are those two, my precious girls. Thank God for my parents who have helped us financially. My dad, who has lent his new car for me to drive since this mess began and who has kept the tank full; who has paid for repairs that needed to be made to the townhouse and let me do our laundry at his house. My mom, who has looked after my health (I was down to 99 lbs) and would take me and the girls out to eat, get me vitamins, help with the kids and remind me to pray. I'm especially thankful for my sister who has helped toughen me up and who has had my back throughout all the hell I've endured in my marriage. I don't know what would have happened had I not had (and still have) her pushing me. Zoe wouldn't have had school clothes or school pictures, presents for her birthday if it were not for them. So this is my public thank-you to them and to all of you who have prayed and sent kind thoughts to us during this time. We love you so much!

I'll end this this post on a happy note.I'd like to introduce my new niece, Alaisha Nadine, born on Zoe's birthday, September 23rd....complete with that new baby smell!
* Shop News: I'm so sorry it has taken so long to get back to Etsy and I apologize to anyone who has been waiting, any convos I have neglected to reply to or get back to...I'm so sorry :( I hope this post helps everyone understand. I have an update up my sleeve....I'll definitely let you know when!